For Mr K’s birthday recently, I booked a table at one of my long-standing favourite restaurants, Cream. Its tucked away in East Perth, and I have been going there regularly since it opened - I have always loved the furry walls and mood lighting, as well as the food and wine list. The service has always been solid as well. You can therefore see my logic; Birthday + Romantic Dinner a deux = Cream. My mathematical genius is clearly an inverse of how often I use Excel, because my calculations were well out of alignment (perhaps I forgot to carry the one?).
We booked into the 8pm dinner service (they only do two, 6:30 and 8pm), therefore arriving around the same time as everyone else did. We had been placed at a table right at the front of the restaurant, directly opposite the cash register, so as people came in to be seated, or went to pay, their bottoms were perching on the edge of our table (this could have been an edifying view for some, perhaps I just wasn’t in the right mood) . The front door does not close properly, and all night as people left or went out to smoke we were treated to gusts of frigid air amidst the SLAM of the door in the wind. Our drinks orders were taken reasonably quickly, and we got a bottle of sparkling, Stefano Lubiano NV Brut ($70) to share over entrée. It wasn’t anything special, but their bubbles list is n0t extensive, and it did the job.
Occasionally, the wait for food at Cream has become a little tedious, and knowing this, when we ordered dinner I ordered bread, olives, and their very more-ish homemade pate ($3.5pp for bread, $5.5 for pate) so we didn’t starve to death. It took 45 minutes to get out to us, and only arrived after one of the staff asked why a bread plate was still sitting on the pass after half an hour (we were close enough to hear). During this wait, the rest of the restaurant had their orders taken, and were served their entrée courses, and ours was the only table that missed out - I must have accidentally worn my Invisibility Cloak (I normally keep it for when my Mum drops around). Despite the arduous and frustrating wait, I very rarely complain in a restaurant, and it was Mr K’s birthday, so we waited it out until I finally cracked and asked a passing staff member whether we might be having dinner…
An hour and a half after we arrived at the restaurant, after everyone else was finished their main course, our entrees of a Fried Parmesan Polenta ‘Egg’, with a ‘Molten Gorgonzola Core’ and Spanish Salt Cod & Potato Croquettes (both $23.5) were delivered to our table. My polenta egg was tasty, but I found no gorgonzola ‘core’ in it, molten or otherwise. I ended up trading with Mr. K, because he was bitterly disappointed with his Salt Cod croquettes (if you want excellent specimens of this genre, may I suggest Duende?). As you can imagine, after the wait, these were very speedily disposed of, and only 15 minutes after our entrees made their grand entrance, our main courses of Marinated Lamb Fillet and Braised Baby Beef ($36.5 and $35.5 respectively) were served.
Mr K lucked out there – the baby beef was absolutely superb, melt in your mouth gorgeousness accompanied by potatoes, green beans and a beautiful jus. The marinated lamb was tender and flavourful, but no comparison, and although I adore garlic, the sweet potato mash tasted of it to the point of bitterness. We had ordered a bottle of Te Whare Ra (pronounced: Teh Ferry Rah) Pinot Noir ($75) to go with our mains, and after its 90 minute breather on the table, it was fabulous. We stumbled across this winery on our NZ holiday, and it was so lovely to see it on a menu, even if the waiter did keep looking at me as though I was pronouncing the name wrong (helpful hint: they tell you how on the back of the bottle if you’ve not had the good fortune to pay a visit to the vineyard).
Due to the speediness of the main course, the bottle was only half drunk by the time the last morsel of beef had been eaten, but we waited in vain to be given a cheese or dessert menu. It eventually appeared, but wasn’t followed with anyone to take an order until well after our patience was exhausted. Finally a lovely waitperson appeared who apologised profusely for the service and blamed it on a ‘function’ of twelve. I gently (honestly!) explained that as everyone else in the restaurant was served and satisfied prior to us even receiving entrees, I had difficulty accepting that as a suitable excuse, particularly as the table of two behind us had service and food all evening. She was unable to fault our logic and credited the cost of our entrees off the bill without us asking for recompense but as you know, this rarely reconciles one to the loss of what should be a fabulous dining experience. The feeling of loss is all the more bitter when you have had wonderful experiences in the past, and it’ll be awhile before I am brave enough to try again, if at all.
Verdict? Have a snack before you go, or borrow a high visibility vest (with a whistle and a light for attracting attention).
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
RIP...La Bruschetta
Once upon a time, two adventurers headed off into the Perth suburban blackness, in search of a decent meal close to home. They stumbled across La Bruschetta in Tuart Hill, and they saw that it was good. As a replacement for mid-week dinner cooking (and associated washing-up), it was frequented with embarrassing regularity – so much so that said adventurers had a standing discount, and when the owners changed prawn providers for their Linguine Gamberi, they were asked to provide feedback (and their opinion listened to!). After many months of happiness, the establishment changed hands….
The first time we went back to La Bruschetta after the change in ownership, the only thing missing was the owner and the chef – the menu and décor were exactly the same. Hesitantly ordering our old favourites (Linguini Gamberi and the Lamb Salad), everything seemed to be fine, and Mr K and I heaved a great sigh of relief. And that, unfortunately, is the last time this establishment was blameless (in our eyes at least). In the months since the sale, we have seen the food quality and service plummet, and the prices remain the same. We have tried on a number of occasions to recapture the magic, and I recount for you our most recent, and final dining experience.
On a Wednesday night, Mr K and I needed a quick dinner before another engagement, and decided to give La Bruschetta a go. Neither of us was starving, and the last time one of us had ordered Linguine Gamberi, it was truly awful, so we each went with a pizza. I should make very clear to you, Dear Reader, that neither Mr K nor myself are of Italian origin, far from it. To further disclaim, neither of us is a professional chef, and we are not possessed of a commercial kitchen or a pizza oven. That said, we could easily (and regularly do) produce better quality pizzas with far better ingredients than these two offerings, anyone could…even the spotty employees of Eagle Boys. The crusts were dry and tasteless on both, and for some reason known only to the cook (I hesitate to pronounce him chef) laden with pepper. The BBQ Chicken pizza ($19) was smeared with a commercial BBQ sauce, which I am certain can be found in a brown bottle with a yellow cap on your supermarket shelf. The La Bruschetta Special (tomato, bocconcini and prosciutto, $23.00) was bland and tasteless (apart from the pepper); liberally spotted with a very poor quality cheese and with ‘Italian prosciutto’ that was most definitely not prosciutto as we know it, Jim. The best thing about the entire meal was the bottle of Evans and Tate Classic we purchased to wash it down with. The owner gave us a 10% discount without us complaining, whether as an enticement to future dining or a standard apology, I am not sure. It wasn’t enough - mid-week dinner or not, it is simply not worth the frustration or the indigestion.
It’s a pity really, under the old owners, the place was always packed, and the food of reassuringly decent quality. The specials were interesting, the staff pleasant, and I once had a banana pudding that was simply spectacular. That often seems to be the problem though; new owners come in and try to make more profit out of the same type of offering that made the establishment successful in the first place. It doesn’t work, and I really wish they’d stop trying. Most of us are not stupid, and I resent being treated as though I am. If you aren’t either, maybe give La Bruschetta a wide berth…
The first time we went back to La Bruschetta after the change in ownership, the only thing missing was the owner and the chef – the menu and décor were exactly the same. Hesitantly ordering our old favourites (Linguini Gamberi and the Lamb Salad), everything seemed to be fine, and Mr K and I heaved a great sigh of relief. And that, unfortunately, is the last time this establishment was blameless (in our eyes at least). In the months since the sale, we have seen the food quality and service plummet, and the prices remain the same. We have tried on a number of occasions to recapture the magic, and I recount for you our most recent, and final dining experience.
On a Wednesday night, Mr K and I needed a quick dinner before another engagement, and decided to give La Bruschetta a go. Neither of us was starving, and the last time one of us had ordered Linguine Gamberi, it was truly awful, so we each went with a pizza. I should make very clear to you, Dear Reader, that neither Mr K nor myself are of Italian origin, far from it. To further disclaim, neither of us is a professional chef, and we are not possessed of a commercial kitchen or a pizza oven. That said, we could easily (and regularly do) produce better quality pizzas with far better ingredients than these two offerings, anyone could…even the spotty employees of Eagle Boys. The crusts were dry and tasteless on both, and for some reason known only to the cook (I hesitate to pronounce him chef) laden with pepper. The BBQ Chicken pizza ($19) was smeared with a commercial BBQ sauce, which I am certain can be found in a brown bottle with a yellow cap on your supermarket shelf. The La Bruschetta Special (tomato, bocconcini and prosciutto, $23.00) was bland and tasteless (apart from the pepper); liberally spotted with a very poor quality cheese and with ‘Italian prosciutto’ that was most definitely not prosciutto as we know it, Jim. The best thing about the entire meal was the bottle of Evans and Tate Classic we purchased to wash it down with. The owner gave us a 10% discount without us complaining, whether as an enticement to future dining or a standard apology, I am not sure. It wasn’t enough - mid-week dinner or not, it is simply not worth the frustration or the indigestion.
It’s a pity really, under the old owners, the place was always packed, and the food of reassuringly decent quality. The specials were interesting, the staff pleasant, and I once had a banana pudding that was simply spectacular. That often seems to be the problem though; new owners come in and try to make more profit out of the same type of offering that made the establishment successful in the first place. It doesn’t work, and I really wish they’d stop trying. Most of us are not stupid, and I resent being treated as though I am. If you aren’t either, maybe give La Bruschetta a wide berth…
Saturday, June 27, 2009
The Broken Hill Hotel..
Whilst on a search for a new vehicle, Mr K and I found ourselves far from our spiritual home of slightly North of the River, and in Victoria Park. The search not being successful, we were both hungry and thirsty (although not nearly as hungry and thirsty as the car salesmen...the GFC is obviously hitting them hard and the level of desperation is most discomfiting) - neither of us had been to the Broken Hill and it looked like a decent lunch choice. The facade of the hotel is gorgeous, the inside is contemporary re-done Perth hotel decor; nothing spectacular, but more than adequate, and the music was appropriately ambient. There wasn’t a server immediately to hand when we walked into the restaurant, and the chef popped out of the kitchen to attend to us (maybe we are not as sketchy looking as previously pondered). We decided to sit outside on the restaurant verandah, and were speedily attended to in the way of drink orders and menus.
We shared half a dozen tempura oysters to start ($3.50 each and a fave for both of us); they were hot and pleasantly crispy but served only with a wedge of lemon. A soy and ginger sauce or even some wasabi mayo would have been most welcome, they were a little boring without. As with anything I can knock up decently at home, I expect the product of a commercial kitchen and trained chefs to be better than my own – but if you don’t like to be splattered with the occasional bit of oil, these were a good substitute (maybe ask for a side of aioli?).
I decided on the Tandoori Lamb Pizza ($19.00) and Mr K had the Middle Eastern Spiced Lamb Burger ($17.50) (no conspiracy – they just sounded good). Servings were generous - I hadn’t a hope of finishing my pizza, despite the tenderness of the lamb, and even Mr K’s appetite was taxed by the size of the burger and chips. A slight kvetch noted was that the pizza would have been improved with a little chilli or slightly more Tandoori paste; it was a little (but only a little) on the bland side. On a positive note, Mr K’s chips were magnificent – it is almost impossible to get a serve of properly crispy chips lately (honestly people, a couple more minutes cooking is all it takes, it is counter intuitive to undercook them just to get the order on the pass a minute or so quicker, remember customer satisfaction? It’s that thing we look after so people come back, and we keep our jobs) and these were perfect.
On another very pleasant note, may I just mention that the service was excellent? We were the only couple seated outside, and we were not neglected. The server regularly popped out to top up water and wine (!) and to check that we were happy with everything. It is lovely to be unexpectedly impressed with service in Perth, and it happens so rarely that it deserves special mention. If it wasn’t for my disinclination to travel outside my 10km radius (I didn’t grow up in Perth, but somehow I seem to have assumed this characteristic in spite of my best efforts) I would probably return regularly, just for that.
Verdict? Decent pub grub, well cooked and well served. Give it a try if you can wrest yourselves from the grasp of the car salesmen...
We shared half a dozen tempura oysters to start ($3.50 each and a fave for both of us); they were hot and pleasantly crispy but served only with a wedge of lemon. A soy and ginger sauce or even some wasabi mayo would have been most welcome, they were a little boring without. As with anything I can knock up decently at home, I expect the product of a commercial kitchen and trained chefs to be better than my own – but if you don’t like to be splattered with the occasional bit of oil, these were a good substitute (maybe ask for a side of aioli?).
I decided on the Tandoori Lamb Pizza ($19.00) and Mr K had the Middle Eastern Spiced Lamb Burger ($17.50) (no conspiracy – they just sounded good). Servings were generous - I hadn’t a hope of finishing my pizza, despite the tenderness of the lamb, and even Mr K’s appetite was taxed by the size of the burger and chips. A slight kvetch noted was that the pizza would have been improved with a little chilli or slightly more Tandoori paste; it was a little (but only a little) on the bland side. On a positive note, Mr K’s chips were magnificent – it is almost impossible to get a serve of properly crispy chips lately (honestly people, a couple more minutes cooking is all it takes, it is counter intuitive to undercook them just to get the order on the pass a minute or so quicker, remember customer satisfaction? It’s that thing we look after so people come back, and we keep our jobs) and these were perfect.
On another very pleasant note, may I just mention that the service was excellent? We were the only couple seated outside, and we were not neglected. The server regularly popped out to top up water and wine (!) and to check that we were happy with everything. It is lovely to be unexpectedly impressed with service in Perth, and it happens so rarely that it deserves special mention. If it wasn’t for my disinclination to travel outside my 10km radius (I didn’t grow up in Perth, but somehow I seem to have assumed this characteristic in spite of my best efforts) I would probably return regularly, just for that.
Verdict? Decent pub grub, well cooked and well served. Give it a try if you can wrest yourselves from the grasp of the car salesmen...
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Le Paris Brest....
After years of hearing about how fabulous it is, Mr K and I went to Le Paris Brest for lunch on Sunday…this was clearly the fatal error in our quest for a nice meal.
It was a lovely day, perfect for a drive, and on a Sunday it doesn’t take too long to get to Kalamunda from the city. We found it tucked away on Haynes St fairly easily, and it didn’t appear overly busy, but we stood there in the doorway like idiots for a minute or two while we tried to ascertain whether one seats oneself, or is seated. Eventually I grabbed a staff member who said, “sit anywhere” and we foraged for a menu on the front counter (it was not offered). The menu is small, and it was quite difficult to find something to eat. Eventually we decided we would get a gnocchi ($18.99) and a baby snapper ($24.99). No one came to take our order, so I went and stood in the massive line up at the counter (which would have been much smaller if it hadn’t been full of parties of retirees wanting to know the chemical composition of EVERY SINGLE PASTRY on offer). I tried to order, and apparently they were ‘out of snapper’, so we ended up with two gnocchi’s instead.
Mr K wanted a chocolate milkshake and I had heard their coffee was good so ordered a latte. Eventually (about 15 minutes, which considering their level of busyness did not fall into my ‘acceptable’ category),the milkshake came out. Mr K felt there was something missing, and after taste tests and discussion, he came to the conclusion it was the ‘chocolate’ part of ‘chocolate milkshake’ that was lacking, however, my coffee was good though scalding hot.
After waiting a bit more, the gnocchi arrived. A note about this; they obviously made them in the same pan at the same time, and I have no problem with that…but it was supposed to be with tomato, onions and olives - I got all of the olives, and Mr K got all of the tomato. The gnocchi itself was beautifully soft and very filling, even factoring in the absent sauce components.
Whilst we were eating, a couple seated behind us were brought menus and given table service, so I am not sure whether Mr K and I are sketchy looking specimens, or whether we were just so far under the median age of patrons it was felt we didn’t need to be served. Interestingly, the gentleman behind us tried to order the Pork Burger, and was told that it was being made with veal today, so I deduce the kitchen’s ordering procedures leave a little to be desired.
A note about the décor – fussy beyond belief..think Shabby Chic meets your Nana’s lounge room. There were a few nice bits and pieces – a set of vintage wall clocks, a couple of interesting block prints etc – but it was so cluttered with ceramics, plaques and other detritus littering the walls that we found it impossible to relax. It was clearly decorated (and I use that term in the loosest sense of the word) with a geriatric audience in mind. We didn’t sample the famed pastries – we would have had to line up again, and it was looking like another 10 to 15 minute wait in the queue from hell with Maude and Hazel and all of their friends from the home, oops I mean lifestyle village.
On the Ms Kvetch Annoyance Scale – this scored about a 7.5. Don’t bother unless a) your Nana wants a day out and b) you’ve dosed up on Valium or similar.
/end Kvetch
It was a lovely day, perfect for a drive, and on a Sunday it doesn’t take too long to get to Kalamunda from the city. We found it tucked away on Haynes St fairly easily, and it didn’t appear overly busy, but we stood there in the doorway like idiots for a minute or two while we tried to ascertain whether one seats oneself, or is seated. Eventually I grabbed a staff member who said, “sit anywhere” and we foraged for a menu on the front counter (it was not offered). The menu is small, and it was quite difficult to find something to eat. Eventually we decided we would get a gnocchi ($18.99) and a baby snapper ($24.99). No one came to take our order, so I went and stood in the massive line up at the counter (which would have been much smaller if it hadn’t been full of parties of retirees wanting to know the chemical composition of EVERY SINGLE PASTRY on offer). I tried to order, and apparently they were ‘out of snapper’, so we ended up with two gnocchi’s instead.
Mr K wanted a chocolate milkshake and I had heard their coffee was good so ordered a latte. Eventually (about 15 minutes, which considering their level of busyness did not fall into my ‘acceptable’ category),the milkshake came out. Mr K felt there was something missing, and after taste tests and discussion, he came to the conclusion it was the ‘chocolate’ part of ‘chocolate milkshake’ that was lacking, however, my coffee was good though scalding hot.
After waiting a bit more, the gnocchi arrived. A note about this; they obviously made them in the same pan at the same time, and I have no problem with that…but it was supposed to be with tomato, onions and olives - I got all of the olives, and Mr K got all of the tomato. The gnocchi itself was beautifully soft and very filling, even factoring in the absent sauce components.
Whilst we were eating, a couple seated behind us were brought menus and given table service, so I am not sure whether Mr K and I are sketchy looking specimens, or whether we were just so far under the median age of patrons it was felt we didn’t need to be served. Interestingly, the gentleman behind us tried to order the Pork Burger, and was told that it was being made with veal today, so I deduce the kitchen’s ordering procedures leave a little to be desired.
A note about the décor – fussy beyond belief..think Shabby Chic meets your Nana’s lounge room. There were a few nice bits and pieces – a set of vintage wall clocks, a couple of interesting block prints etc – but it was so cluttered with ceramics, plaques and other detritus littering the walls that we found it impossible to relax. It was clearly decorated (and I use that term in the loosest sense of the word) with a geriatric audience in mind. We didn’t sample the famed pastries – we would have had to line up again, and it was looking like another 10 to 15 minute wait in the queue from hell with Maude and Hazel and all of their friends from the home, oops I mean lifestyle village.
On the Ms Kvetch Annoyance Scale – this scored about a 7.5. Don’t bother unless a) your Nana wants a day out and b) you’ve dosed up on Valium or similar.
/end Kvetch
Sunday, June 14, 2009
And we're back...
We apologise for the unscheduled outage, and can only explain that there have been limited dining experiences to discuss in recent weeks. We hope that full services will be resumed shortly...
Mr K and I had a day off in the middle of the week together recently (not a common occurrence), and decided to go for lunch. As far as I am concerned, if it’s a sunny day – Il Lido in Cottesloe is THE place to go. I love it - the place is warehouse-style funky, with long wooden tables, great ambience and decent music. More importantly, the food is brilliant, and the wine list long and involved.
We’ve been here a few times before and enjoyed items from the tapas menu – they are always fresh, imaginative and more-ish. Unfortunately we didn’t have time for a long, lingering lunch, so we just had some bread ($2 pp) to start. They have excellent sourdough, and they pour the EVOO and balsamic at the table. We had a white wine by the glass, I couldn’t tell you what it was, it was French, unpronounceable (despite my stunning high school French), and it was ok, but nothing special (Disclaimer: Both Mr K and I had been down with some sort of plague, our taste buds were probably not as discerning as they could be).
For main, Mr K had the potato gnocchi with tomato, very fresh tasting, if a tiny bit plain. I had the chestnut and pumpkin ravioli with sage and butter sauce. It was divine – the only slight kvetch was that the fried sage leaves were a bit twiggy. I cannot remember how much the pastas were exactly, and they have a website that has been “Under Construction” for as long as I have been going there (about 2 years?), but I think they are around the $22 mark. They also have that amazing characteristic I normally attribute to Indian food – the size of the serving looks small, but is in fact more than enough to sate your appetite (and if for some reason it doesn’t there is always dessert or cheese to lend a helping hand).
The service is great – the interior is quite large, and it could take you a while to get served, but it never does. The staff are friendly and knowledgeable and the whole place has a fabulous laid back feel without compromising on the important stuff. I have never been there when it is full, so I don’t know how well the communal dining setting works if you happen to get packed in like sardines, and this might be a concern. I have had many a dining experience that has been adversely affected by people who clearly have nothing left in their lives to discuss – not just in Perth either, one such experience in Melbourne at Mini is a standout…the couple listening to us not only shamelessly eavesdropped, but commented audibly on the results thereof… I would sincerely hope that at Il Lido you would avoid this dining abomination, everything else works so well.
Go and check it out – I really don’t think disappointment will be on the cards.
Mr K and I had a day off in the middle of the week together recently (not a common occurrence), and decided to go for lunch. As far as I am concerned, if it’s a sunny day – Il Lido in Cottesloe is THE place to go. I love it - the place is warehouse-style funky, with long wooden tables, great ambience and decent music. More importantly, the food is brilliant, and the wine list long and involved.
We’ve been here a few times before and enjoyed items from the tapas menu – they are always fresh, imaginative and more-ish. Unfortunately we didn’t have time for a long, lingering lunch, so we just had some bread ($2 pp) to start. They have excellent sourdough, and they pour the EVOO and balsamic at the table. We had a white wine by the glass, I couldn’t tell you what it was, it was French, unpronounceable (despite my stunning high school French), and it was ok, but nothing special (Disclaimer: Both Mr K and I had been down with some sort of plague, our taste buds were probably not as discerning as they could be).
For main, Mr K had the potato gnocchi with tomato, very fresh tasting, if a tiny bit plain. I had the chestnut and pumpkin ravioli with sage and butter sauce. It was divine – the only slight kvetch was that the fried sage leaves were a bit twiggy. I cannot remember how much the pastas were exactly, and they have a website that has been “Under Construction” for as long as I have been going there (about 2 years?), but I think they are around the $22 mark. They also have that amazing characteristic I normally attribute to Indian food – the size of the serving looks small, but is in fact more than enough to sate your appetite (and if for some reason it doesn’t there is always dessert or cheese to lend a helping hand).
The service is great – the interior is quite large, and it could take you a while to get served, but it never does. The staff are friendly and knowledgeable and the whole place has a fabulous laid back feel without compromising on the important stuff. I have never been there when it is full, so I don’t know how well the communal dining setting works if you happen to get packed in like sardines, and this might be a concern. I have had many a dining experience that has been adversely affected by people who clearly have nothing left in their lives to discuss – not just in Perth either, one such experience in Melbourne at Mini is a standout…the couple listening to us not only shamelessly eavesdropped, but commented audibly on the results thereof… I would sincerely hope that at Il Lido you would avoid this dining abomination, everything else works so well.
Go and check it out – I really don’t think disappointment will be on the cards.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
The Imp - Victoria Park
Ensemble:
Ms Kvetch: breakfast-eater catching up with friends
Lovely Very Pregnant Friend (P1): quite self explanatory really.
Lovely Slightly-less-pregnant Friend (P2): see above
Dumb Girl at till
Mute Wait-thing
Barista/Manager Type
To set the scene: Saturday morning in Victoria Park, The Imp Cafe. Walk into cafe and find friends squeezed in a table at the back. Impression of messiness and not very much care. Check out breakfast menu, realise you have to order and pay at the front counter.
Ms Kvetch and P2 walk to front counter to order.
Barista/Manager Type: Will you be paying separately?
Ms K: yes please
Barista/Manager Type: what coffees would you like, and I will get them started now
Ms K: a flat white and a latte please
P2: a cappuccino
Dumb Girl at till: What can I get you?
P2: scrambled eggs on toast with a side order of bacon and a cappuccino
Dumb Girl at till (to Ms K): What can I get you?
Ms K: the first order will be the Imp Big Breakfast with scrambled eggs and sourdough toast and a flat white.
Dumb Girl at till (looks at bench with coffee order on it): so a big breakfast with a latte
Ms Kvetch realises there is no point in arguing
Ms K: and the second order will be eggs Florentine on sourdough toast with a side of hash browns and a flat white.
Ms K pays and she and P2 return to seats.
A very short time later, Mute Wait-thing arrives at table with a cappuccino and a flat white, and stands at table, looking like brain has just shut down to conserve battery life.
Mute Wait-thing: “ “
Ms K, P1, P2 look expectantly at MWT, and realise she could stand there vacantly all day
P2: the cappuccino is mine
MWT: “ “
MWT places coffees on table and backs away.
Dumb Girl from till arrives with latte a moment later. P1 asks for more sugar (What is it with Perth and only giving patrons one sugar with their coffee? NO ONE I KNOW TAKES ONE SUGAR AND YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO ASK FOR MORE AND THEN THE WAIT STAFF SIGH LIKE YOU ARE BEING PROBLEMATIC. GIVE US APPROPRIATE AMOUNTS OF SWEETENER IN THE FIRST PLACE! Goddammit but people are stupid).
Cue general chat and cafe noises
MWT returns to table with a Big Breakfast and Eggs on Toast and stands vacantly at table.
MWT: “ “
P1: the Big Breakfast is mine.
MWT: “ “
MWT places plates on tables and backs away silently. Returns a minute or so later with Eggs Florentine.
Ms K: could we please have some cutlery?
MWT: yes
The Eggs on Toast ($9) was a very bare plate, eggs were a bit gluggy looking and the “side” of bacon ($3.50) was the smallest side I have ever seen...perhaps they were trying to reduce the chance of P2 contracting Swine Flu in her maternal state? The Big Breakfast ($19) by comparison was MASSIVE. Again, eggs didn’t look that great, but P1 said that whatever they did to the mushrooms was nice (I venture sautéed with butter and a little cream from the looks of them). The baked beans looked very rich and lovely, and I tried a mouthful, but I wouldn’t try a second – they were incredibly bland. There were also hash browns, which were a bit novel, they were round and deep-fried – more of a potato croquette. I had these as a side ($3.50) with my Eggs Florentine. They were good, but a bit undercooked and sloppy in the centres. I would turn the deep fryer down a little and give them some more time to cook.
Ms Kvetch: breakfast-eater catching up with friends
Lovely Very Pregnant Friend (P1): quite self explanatory really.
Lovely Slightly-less-pregnant Friend (P2): see above
Dumb Girl at till
Mute Wait-thing
Barista/Manager Type
To set the scene: Saturday morning in Victoria Park, The Imp Cafe. Walk into cafe and find friends squeezed in a table at the back. Impression of messiness and not very much care. Check out breakfast menu, realise you have to order and pay at the front counter.
Ms Kvetch and P2 walk to front counter to order.
Barista/Manager Type: Will you be paying separately?
Ms K: yes please
Barista/Manager Type: what coffees would you like, and I will get them started now
Ms K: a flat white and a latte please
P2: a cappuccino
Dumb Girl at till: What can I get you?
P2: scrambled eggs on toast with a side order of bacon and a cappuccino
Dumb Girl at till (to Ms K): What can I get you?
Ms K: the first order will be the Imp Big Breakfast with scrambled eggs and sourdough toast and a flat white.
Dumb Girl at till (looks at bench with coffee order on it): so a big breakfast with a latte
Ms Kvetch realises there is no point in arguing
Ms K: and the second order will be eggs Florentine on sourdough toast with a side of hash browns and a flat white.
Ms K pays and she and P2 return to seats.
A very short time later, Mute Wait-thing arrives at table with a cappuccino and a flat white, and stands at table, looking like brain has just shut down to conserve battery life.
Mute Wait-thing: “ “
Ms K, P1, P2 look expectantly at MWT, and realise she could stand there vacantly all day
P2: the cappuccino is mine
MWT: “ “
MWT places coffees on table and backs away.
Dumb Girl from till arrives with latte a moment later. P1 asks for more sugar (What is it with Perth and only giving patrons one sugar with their coffee? NO ONE I KNOW TAKES ONE SUGAR AND YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO ASK FOR MORE AND THEN THE WAIT STAFF SIGH LIKE YOU ARE BEING PROBLEMATIC. GIVE US APPROPRIATE AMOUNTS OF SWEETENER IN THE FIRST PLACE! Goddammit but people are stupid).
Cue general chat and cafe noises
MWT returns to table with a Big Breakfast and Eggs on Toast and stands vacantly at table.
MWT: “ “
P1: the Big Breakfast is mine.
MWT: “ “
MWT places plates on tables and backs away silently. Returns a minute or so later with Eggs Florentine.
Ms K: could we please have some cutlery?
MWT: yes
The crowd goes wild, curtain closes. End Act.
Ok, down to the serious business of the food. The short answer? Pretty average. And here is why:
Ok, down to the serious business of the food. The short answer? Pretty average. And here is why:
The Eggs on Toast ($9) was a very bare plate, eggs were a bit gluggy looking and the “side” of bacon ($3.50) was the smallest side I have ever seen...perhaps they were trying to reduce the chance of P2 contracting Swine Flu in her maternal state? The Big Breakfast ($19) by comparison was MASSIVE. Again, eggs didn’t look that great, but P1 said that whatever they did to the mushrooms was nice (I venture sautéed with butter and a little cream from the looks of them). The baked beans looked very rich and lovely, and I tried a mouthful, but I wouldn’t try a second – they were incredibly bland. There were also hash browns, which were a bit novel, they were round and deep-fried – more of a potato croquette. I had these as a side ($3.50) with my Eggs Florentine. They were good, but a bit undercooked and sloppy in the centres. I would turn the deep fryer down a little and give them some more time to cook.
My Eggs Florentine ($13.00) was two poached eggs on sourdough toast with raw spinach and something that looked like Hollandaise sauce, but didn’t have any flavour (“It’s Hollandaise, but not as we know it Jim”). And a personal bugbear of mine, the eggs, although poached properly in boiling water tasted like the white vinegar that had been used to keep them together. I hate that.
The Fiori coffee was not robust, certainly not as nice as expected, and P1’s flat white was cold.
This one was my fault, I picked the cafe, but in my defence I have absolutely no knowledge of Vic Park, and went off their website and the Eating WA review. More fool me. Sorry ladies!
(Has anyone else been here?)
Friday, May 1, 2009
Divido
As promised, here is a review of a 'proper' restaurant...
Divido in Mt Hawthorn used to be one of my favouritist restaurants – but a year or so ago, they stopped doing breakfasts and lunches on the weekends. THEN they got a good review in The West or Sunday Times or something, and then you had to start booking. Most annoying, especially when you are not organised diners, so we hadn’t been for awhile.
We went back mid-week recently, after a quite hideous day at the office. We could only get a table for 8pm, and the place was pretty full. They haven’t messed with the inside too much, the retro lighting, and tree scapes are still there, but they have included some banquettes down the middle of the dining room. What they HAVE changed is the menu. They used to have a number of tapas-style plates – Divido meaning ‘to share’, and these have disappeared unfortunately (many a long Saturday lunch have I enjoyed at Divido, and it seems a pity that aspect is gone). Wood-fired pizza is also off, and the menu has shrunk substantially. I don’t mind this generally, as it normally follows that more care is taken with what remains, but you do run the risk of not feeling like anything that is there. They are running a degustation menu concurrently, but it just appeared to be tastes of the regular offerings.
We decided on the Vitello Tonato ($22) and Marron ($27) to start. We advised our waitperson that we would be sharing, and the marron actually came out in the main size, much to the disgust of the nosy couple seated next to us. They had each had the marron to start, and She was not amused we got a larger size (and we were having another plate!). The Vitello was a clear winner here, the veal was meltingly tender, and reminded me of the carpaccio I used to get there regularly. This was a lovely balanced plate, the only thing I would have changed was the use of the caper berries. They used the large berries with stems, and I think the smaller capers in salt would have finished it more effectively. The marron, unfortunately (despite the size!) was not as special. For some reason known only to himself, on the day, Chef Jason Jujnovich was preparing these split in half, grilled, and covered in fresh red chili with a little garlic (I note the menu states wood roasted with garlic and dried oregano) . I adore spicy food – one day I shall give you a run down of my favourite Indian restaurants, but it just didn’t work with the marron. If you are showcasing a gorgeous little WA ingredient, why overwhelm that delicate taste with chili? The standout was the postage stamp sized portion of kipfler potato salad included on the plate – lovely fresh vinaigrette dressing.
We asked the waitperson for a suggestion on a white by the glass to have with entrée, and she came back with a suggestion of a Rose for the vitello and a Chardonnay for the marron, but as a Rose is the one varietal that neither Mr K or I will touch (I lie a little, I once in Queenstown tried a Rose from Amisfield Estate, and it was quite drinkable, but I would still never buy a glass of it, let alone a bottle), we went with the Innocent Bystander Chardonnay. It was not too bad – definitely better than the Sav Blanc by the same vineyard. Really though, a fruity and crisp Sav Blanc would have suited both entrees just fine. Veal is red meat, yes, but it’s not so meaty that it requires a red wine, and as tuna mayonnaise is served with the Vitello Tonato, I think the right white works nicely.
For a bottle of red with dinner, I couldn’t decide between the Mt Difficulty Pinot Noir ($71) or the Chateau de Campuget Shiraz/Grenache/Mourvedre ($69), and I asked the same waitperson for an opinion. She suggested the French wine, and since we often don’t bother with the French (apart from cheese), we went ahead with it. With a Shiraz blend, you expect some pepper, and while this gave you a little hint of it in the bouquet, it didn’t follow through in taste, and there was NO finish. If Jesus was turning the water into wine, this would be the result of him getting bored part way through. I think just on the face of it, the Mt Difficulty would have suited better – you know what you are getting with a Pinot from Central Otago, nice big berry/cherry flavours and a bit of spice. That said, I asked for her opinion - if it wasn’t the same as my own, that isn’t her fault (how balanced and fair am I?).
For main, Mr K had the quail ($36) and I had the duck (also $36). Both of these had perfectly brown crispy skin, and beautiful flavour, but I think mine was the winner. The meat was incredibly tender, and the jus worked perfectly with the organic buckwheat polenta. We also got truffle mash and a red cabbage, walnut and gorgonzola salad ($8 each). The mash was a good texture and tasty, but as usual, if there was a hint of truffle taste in there I missed it. Perhaps they waft a truffle past the field? It really is a case of the Emperor’s New Potatoes, and it is not just a Divido phenomenon - I struggle to think of a restaurant where I have actually tasted said truffle in the mash. If you are not going to use it, or your contribution is a drop of infused oil per pot of potatoes, please don’t bother. Put something else in it, put nothing else in it, but don’t advertise something that isn’t there/end Kvetch. The salad, on the other hand, was an absolute delight. Crispy cabbage, lovely dressing, toasted walnuts, blue cheese and the occasional sultana. With the duck, it was bliss.
We end up sharing a dessert – there was a persimmon and apple crumble that looked interesting, but somehow I prefer to make my own with these things, so we went with the Chocolate Nemesis tart ($15), and a bottle of the Two Hands Moscato ($36). The chocolate tart was good, not over-sweet, but could have used more crème fraiche and strawberry compote as accompaniment. The Moscato was most drinkable, light and not cloying – you may buy me some for my next birthday if you are so inclined.
We didn’t have coffee – it was a school night, and I couldn’t afford the staring-at-the-ceiling time it would have entailed, but from memory, their coffee is good, and I have never had a burnt one.
One more slight kvetch: the middle aged couple sitting next to us unashamedly listened to our conversation all night. From this I deduce that a) they have been married too long and b) they have no pets or children – both of whom make excellent dinner conversation when you have nothing left to say to each other (Mr K and I are clearly not at this point in our relationship). As I was relating the next exciting instalment of a staff member’s family drama (honestly, it puts Neighbours to shame), I am sure they had plenty to keep them amused. I only wish they had the decency to pretend they were NOT listening…to listen is understandable, but to gawk is gauche.
Overall? The service is excellent and prompt, even when the restaurant is busy. The food is mostly excellent, apart from my quibbles, and I will be trying the cauliflower tagliatelle next time I am in there. I just wish they still had their sharing menu – I miss it. Oh, and the marron? They didn’t charge us for the upgrade, wasn’t that nice of them? The Nosies would have been MOST put out if they’d known.
Cost $244 (incl use of Entertainment Card).
Divido in Mt Hawthorn used to be one of my favouritist restaurants – but a year or so ago, they stopped doing breakfasts and lunches on the weekends. THEN they got a good review in The West or Sunday Times or something, and then you had to start booking. Most annoying, especially when you are not organised diners, so we hadn’t been for awhile.
We went back mid-week recently, after a quite hideous day at the office. We could only get a table for 8pm, and the place was pretty full. They haven’t messed with the inside too much, the retro lighting, and tree scapes are still there, but they have included some banquettes down the middle of the dining room. What they HAVE changed is the menu. They used to have a number of tapas-style plates – Divido meaning ‘to share’, and these have disappeared unfortunately (many a long Saturday lunch have I enjoyed at Divido, and it seems a pity that aspect is gone). Wood-fired pizza is also off, and the menu has shrunk substantially. I don’t mind this generally, as it normally follows that more care is taken with what remains, but you do run the risk of not feeling like anything that is there. They are running a degustation menu concurrently, but it just appeared to be tastes of the regular offerings.
We decided on the Vitello Tonato ($22) and Marron ($27) to start. We advised our waitperson that we would be sharing, and the marron actually came out in the main size, much to the disgust of the nosy couple seated next to us. They had each had the marron to start, and She was not amused we got a larger size (and we were having another plate!). The Vitello was a clear winner here, the veal was meltingly tender, and reminded me of the carpaccio I used to get there regularly. This was a lovely balanced plate, the only thing I would have changed was the use of the caper berries. They used the large berries with stems, and I think the smaller capers in salt would have finished it more effectively. The marron, unfortunately (despite the size!) was not as special. For some reason known only to himself, on the day, Chef Jason Jujnovich was preparing these split in half, grilled, and covered in fresh red chili with a little garlic (I note the menu states wood roasted with garlic and dried oregano) . I adore spicy food – one day I shall give you a run down of my favourite Indian restaurants, but it just didn’t work with the marron. If you are showcasing a gorgeous little WA ingredient, why overwhelm that delicate taste with chili? The standout was the postage stamp sized portion of kipfler potato salad included on the plate – lovely fresh vinaigrette dressing.
We asked the waitperson for a suggestion on a white by the glass to have with entrée, and she came back with a suggestion of a Rose for the vitello and a Chardonnay for the marron, but as a Rose is the one varietal that neither Mr K or I will touch (I lie a little, I once in Queenstown tried a Rose from Amisfield Estate, and it was quite drinkable, but I would still never buy a glass of it, let alone a bottle), we went with the Innocent Bystander Chardonnay. It was not too bad – definitely better than the Sav Blanc by the same vineyard. Really though, a fruity and crisp Sav Blanc would have suited both entrees just fine. Veal is red meat, yes, but it’s not so meaty that it requires a red wine, and as tuna mayonnaise is served with the Vitello Tonato, I think the right white works nicely.
For a bottle of red with dinner, I couldn’t decide between the Mt Difficulty Pinot Noir ($71) or the Chateau de Campuget Shiraz/Grenache/Mourvedre ($69), and I asked the same waitperson for an opinion. She suggested the French wine, and since we often don’t bother with the French (apart from cheese), we went ahead with it. With a Shiraz blend, you expect some pepper, and while this gave you a little hint of it in the bouquet, it didn’t follow through in taste, and there was NO finish. If Jesus was turning the water into wine, this would be the result of him getting bored part way through. I think just on the face of it, the Mt Difficulty would have suited better – you know what you are getting with a Pinot from Central Otago, nice big berry/cherry flavours and a bit of spice. That said, I asked for her opinion - if it wasn’t the same as my own, that isn’t her fault (how balanced and fair am I?).
For main, Mr K had the quail ($36) and I had the duck (also $36). Both of these had perfectly brown crispy skin, and beautiful flavour, but I think mine was the winner. The meat was incredibly tender, and the jus worked perfectly with the organic buckwheat polenta. We also got truffle mash and a red cabbage, walnut and gorgonzola salad ($8 each). The mash was a good texture and tasty, but as usual, if there was a hint of truffle taste in there I missed it. Perhaps they waft a truffle past the field? It really is a case of the Emperor’s New Potatoes, and it is not just a Divido phenomenon - I struggle to think of a restaurant where I have actually tasted said truffle in the mash. If you are not going to use it, or your contribution is a drop of infused oil per pot of potatoes, please don’t bother. Put something else in it, put nothing else in it, but don’t advertise something that isn’t there/end Kvetch. The salad, on the other hand, was an absolute delight. Crispy cabbage, lovely dressing, toasted walnuts, blue cheese and the occasional sultana. With the duck, it was bliss.
We end up sharing a dessert – there was a persimmon and apple crumble that looked interesting, but somehow I prefer to make my own with these things, so we went with the Chocolate Nemesis tart ($15), and a bottle of the Two Hands Moscato ($36). The chocolate tart was good, not over-sweet, but could have used more crème fraiche and strawberry compote as accompaniment. The Moscato was most drinkable, light and not cloying – you may buy me some for my next birthday if you are so inclined.
We didn’t have coffee – it was a school night, and I couldn’t afford the staring-at-the-ceiling time it would have entailed, but from memory, their coffee is good, and I have never had a burnt one.
One more slight kvetch: the middle aged couple sitting next to us unashamedly listened to our conversation all night. From this I deduce that a) they have been married too long and b) they have no pets or children – both of whom make excellent dinner conversation when you have nothing left to say to each other (Mr K and I are clearly not at this point in our relationship). As I was relating the next exciting instalment of a staff member’s family drama (honestly, it puts Neighbours to shame), I am sure they had plenty to keep them amused. I only wish they had the decency to pretend they were NOT listening…to listen is understandable, but to gawk is gauche.
Overall? The service is excellent and prompt, even when the restaurant is busy. The food is mostly excellent, apart from my quibbles, and I will be trying the cauliflower tagliatelle next time I am in there. I just wish they still had their sharing menu – I miss it. Oh, and the marron? They didn’t charge us for the upgrade, wasn’t that nice of them? The Nosies would have been MOST put out if they’d known.
Cost $244 (incl use of Entertainment Card).
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