RIP...La Bruschetta

Once upon a time, two adventurers headed off into the Perth suburban blackness, in search of a decent meal close to home. They stumbled across La Bruschetta in Tuart Hill, and they saw that it was good. As a replacement for mid-week dinner cooking (and associated washing-up), it was frequented with embarrassing regularity – so much so that said adventurers had a standing discount, and when the owners changed prawn providers for their Linguine Gamberi, they were asked to provide feedback (and their opinion listened to!). After many months of happiness, the establishment changed hands….

The first time we went back to La Bruschetta after the change in ownership, the only thing missing was the owner and the chef – the menu and décor were exactly the same. Hesitantly ordering our old favourites (Linguini Gamberi and the Lamb Salad), everything seemed to be fine, and Mr K and I heaved a great sigh of relief. And that, unfortunately, is the last time this establishment was blameless (in our eyes at least). In the months since the sale, we have seen the food quality and service plummet, and the prices remain the same. We have tried on a number of occasions to recapture the magic, and I recount for you our most recent, and final dining experience.

On a Wednesday night, Mr K and I needed a quick dinner before another engagement, and decided to give La Bruschetta a go. Neither of us was starving, and the last time one of us had ordered Linguine Gamberi, it was truly awful, so we each went with a pizza. I should make very clear to you, Dear Reader, that neither Mr K nor myself are of Italian origin, far from it. To further disclaim, neither of us is a professional chef, and we are not possessed of a commercial kitchen or a pizza oven. That said, we could easily (and regularly do) produce better quality pizzas with far better ingredients than these two offerings, anyone could…even the spotty employees of Eagle Boys. The crusts were dry and tasteless on both, and for some reason known only to the cook (I hesitate to pronounce him chef) laden with pepper. The BBQ Chicken pizza ($19) was smeared with a commercial BBQ sauce, which I am certain can be found in a brown bottle with a yellow cap on your supermarket shelf. The La Bruschetta Special (tomato, bocconcini and prosciutto, $23.00) was bland and tasteless (apart from the pepper); liberally spotted with a very poor quality cheese and with ‘Italian prosciutto’ that was most definitely not prosciutto as we know it, Jim. The best thing about the entire meal was the bottle of Evans and Tate Classic we purchased to wash it down with. The owner gave us a 10% discount without us complaining, whether as an enticement to future dining or a standard apology, I am not sure. It wasn’t enough - mid-week dinner or not, it is simply not worth the frustration or the indigestion.

It’s a pity really, under the old owners, the place was always packed, and the food of reassuringly decent quality. The specials were interesting, the staff pleasant, and I once had a banana pudding that was simply spectacular. That often seems to be the problem though; new owners come in and try to make more profit out of the same type of offering that made the establishment successful in the first place. It doesn’t work, and I really wish they’d stop trying. Most of us are not stupid, and I resent being treated as though I am. If you aren’t either, maybe give La Bruschetta a wide berth…